The Prince and the Pilot
by Lolerskatez
Summary: One hormonal surge, one crash, and one angry bear later, here they were. Implied SuzakuxEuphemia
1. Car Crash

**Disclaimer! **I don't own Code Geass. Hell, I haven't even seen it.

**Prompt One;; Car Crash**

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As did every epic quest, this one started with screaming.

Not in the "Yay-this-is-the-greatest-thing-ever!" kind of way, but in the "Oh-shit-oh-shit-we're-gonna-die!" (Well, really it depended on who you were talking to.)

"Damnit, Suzakuuuuu!" Came the hysterical cry as a thunderous crash broke the mirror-like silence, small shockwaves echoing from the site of the collision.

But before this adventure can be told, a previous expedition must be made back in time, to when dinosaurs roamed the earth. (Okay, maybe not _that _far back, but it still happened a while ago.)

"Suzaku, I'm bored. Entertain me," were the words uttered from His Majesty's mouth. It wasn't a question; it was a command, as was nearly everything that Lelouch articulated. The scene was a familiar one; Lelouch was sprawled out on the couch in his room and Suzaku was on his laptop, doing who knew what.

"Maa, Lulu, can't you go five minutes without needing attention?" The pilot said, not looking up from the screen as he shook his head and chuckled. "You're so needy—Oh, my God!" Surprised by the sudden outburst, Lelouch promptly fell off the couch.

"What? What is it?" He asked frantically, scrambling over to the desk where the pilot was situated.

"Y-you…" The brunette boy stuttered, pointing to the screen with a shaking hand.

"Yes, what about me??"

"EUPHIE'S BACK~" He squealed, jumping out of his seat and into the air all thanks to an IM from Shirley. Unbeknownst to the pilot, while turning his internal fit of joy into an external display, he'd simultaneously punched the purple-eyed prince upside the face, rendering him unconscious.

"Come on, Lulu! We gotta go get Euphie from the airport! She won't see !" Not realizing his friend was out like a light, Suzaku threw Lelouch over his shoulder and ran to the garage and got into the driver's seat of Lelouch's pride and joy, his black Corvette. So when Lelouch woke up to Suzaku driving while talking to his little sister, therefore rendering him utterly oblivious, of course he was just the _slightest _bit concerned.

"I miss you too, Euphie!" Suzaku cooed into the phone, his eyes looking everywhere _but_ the road.

"Suzaku! Get off the phone!" A frantic Lelouch yelled. "We're about to be struck by a four-wheeler!"

"… Wha?" Came the response.

And that is where our story takes place.

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**A/N: **And thus starts the first of my Christmas presents to people! This one is for axelXroxas342, who requested a LelouchxSuzaku fic. However, being one who's never actually _seen_ Code Geass, I'm pretty sure most of this is really OOC. :S

…

Aw, screw it, I had way too much fun writing this. xD


	2. Stranded

**Disclaimer! **Again, I haven't even watched and/or read a thing of Code Geass, so what makes you think I own it?

**Prompt Two;; Stranded**

"Aw, come on, Lelouch, at least look at me! I said I was sorry!" Suzaku said, rubbing the back of his neck as he tried not to stare at His Majesty.

"My baby… My poor, poor baby," Lelouch cried at the foot of a tree where his car had met its demise.

"You know, that thing was like a fiberglass coffin," Suzaku started, trying to stay optimistic. "So maybe it's a good thing that it-" He was cut off by an enraged prince.

"Don't talk about her like she isn't here!" Lelouch hissed, still attached to the remaining shards of his "baby".

"Be reasonable, Lulu!" The brunette was starting to get _royally_ pissed with this _royal_ pain. "Are you really going to cry over a car when we don't even know where we are?"

Lelouch's whining and moaning stopped abruptly.

_... Shit,_ was the only thing running through Suzaku's mind, realizing just how badly he'd screwed himself over.

"You punch out three of my teeth… You wreck my car… You get us lost…" Lelouch said, eerily calm. "Did you know that those teeth were in this car? Hm? What am I supposed to do now? Just walk around with three missing teeth? Is that what you want me to do? Walk around with three-" The prince was promptly slapped in the face.

"Ahh… Er, thanks for that…" Lelouch said, blinking like he'd just been pulled out of some kind of trance.

"That's what friends are for," Suzaku said with a shrug. "Now let's figure out just where the hell we are. 'Cause Euphie's waiting~" Cue Suzaku turning into a lovesick puppy.

"Focus, Casanova," Lelouch ordered (again). "So let's recount. You were on the phone with Euphemia, I woke up, there was a truck in front of us…" As he thought out loud, the Prince of Britannia paced back and forth, gesticulating as he did so.

"Swerve, hit tree, death," Suzaku continued, gesturing flagrantly, to the point where he flapped his arms up and down like a madman for "death". Lelouch buried his face in his palms in an exasperated motion.

_At this rate, we'll be stranded forever._

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**A/N: **Woo, second chapter! Well, more like ficlet, rather than chapter. :S Ahh… I don't know what to say in this except ONE MORE TO GO!


	3. Finding a Dead Body

**Disclaimer! **These disclaimer things are getting really old... Dx

**Prompt Three;; Finding a "Dead Body"**

"In the beginning, there was a boy and there was a girl…

"The girl was stranded at the airport. The boy was stranded in the woods…

"The girl's older brother kicked the boy's ass for being a dipshit and getting them stranded in the woods in the first place."

Suzaku blinked, staring at the seemingly multiplying number of trees ahead of him. "I don't really like that story, Lulu," he said to the boy on his back. "Besides, we both know that if you and me got in a fight, I'd come out the winner."

"Oh, hush," Lelouch snapped, rolling his eyes. Suzaku snickered.

"_Hush_? Congratulations, if the fact that you asked another man to give you a piggy back ride didn't do it, _now_ you've just successfully out-gayed yourself," he said. By now, he was laughing heartily, shaking the emaciated-looking boy on his back as he did so.

"Well, _you _were the one that accepted!" Lelouch countered. Suzaku immediately stopped laughing at this sudden realization.

"… Touché," was all he said.

…

"But I'd still win in a fight," he muttered just loudly enough for the prince to hear.

"That's _it_!" Lelouch shouted as he squirmed under the pilot's grip. "Put me down!" He ordered.

"As you wish, _Your Majesty_." Suzaku dropped him and he landed with a dull _thud!_ Scrambling to save face, Lelouch stood up and raised his fists.

"Fight me," he said.

"Wh-_what_??" That was definitely _not_ what Suzaku was expecting.

"I _said_ fight me! Or would you like me to talk slooower?" The prince mocked, resorting to petty jabs to deal with his increasing hysteria.

"Really, Lelouch? What are you, five?" Suzaku said, not falling quite so easily for his friend's uncharacteristically obvious plan.

"Five-year-olds have more intellect than you!" Lelouch yelled. "Any rational person would be able to realize by now that Euphemia doesn't _love _you; she _pities_ you and your idiotic-!"

And just like that, the fight that Lelouch had been egging on was initiated with a well-placed roundhouse kick to the face by Suzaku.

And just like that, the color drained from the prince's face. Not because his subordinate's foot had made contact with his face (well, that was part of it), but moreover because of what he saw when he landed on his backside in a clump of bushes.

"S-Suzaku…" Lelouch stuttered.

"No, I am _not_ talking to you right now!" The brunette had his back turned to the purple-eyed prince, his arms folded in front of his chest in a defiant manner.

"I think you might want to see this, though…"

"I didn't hear anything. Nope! Nothing at all! _Especially_ not a douche bag whining behind me 'cause he just got his ass handed to him by-"

Suzaku was cut off mid-rant by a loud roar. Green eyes widened as the pilot turned around slowly, the color draining out of _his _face as well.

Above Lelouch's body was a bear.

A _rabid_ bear, to make it even better.

"Okay, Lelouch, now is _not _the time to panic," Suzaku said soothingly, trying to calm down the near-hysterical prince.

"Oh, really, you try saying that when there's a bear drooling on you!" He hissed back. A glob of foaming saliva fell from the bear's mouth and landed on Lelouch's leg with a sickening _plop!_ His face contorted into utter disgust.

"Think of it this way, Lulu!" Suzaku said, using his signature optimism that he'd acquired for that day. "If you don't stay calm, they won't find a dead body!"

"You're contradicting yourself, Suzaku!"

"They won't find a dead body…" He said, gulping. "Because there won't _be_ a dead body, if you get my drift."

That was the breaking point for our Prince of Britannia.

Jumping up, Lelouch ran the fastest he'd ever run in his life, Suzaku right behind him, and the bear right behind _him_. Their screams echoed off the edges of the forest only to fall on a lifeless clearing.

However, somewhere in this clearing, in a pile of fiberglass and black paint at the base of a tree, a cell phone rang. When it went unanswered, a message was left.

'_Hey, Suzaku! It's Euphemia. Guess what? I'm back! I can't wait to see you! Oh, that reminds me; have you seen Lelouch? He isn't at home and his car's gone, so if he's with you, could you just tell him to call me? Alright, I'll talk to you later! Bye-bye!'_

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**A/N: **In the words of my beta, AxelsWaterBaby, "You just got owned! … IN THE FACE!" (Well, the mood _was_ "Could anything _else_ go wrong?") I don't like the transitions as much in this one, but I like bears. 8Db And thus concludes _The Prince and the Pilot_! Hope you liked it, axelXroxas342, and happy holidays!


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